How grand and glorious it is today to live on this earth.
How fortunate you are to be blessed as you are to be who you are.
How wonderous life is that it unfolds in ways unexpected yet
continuously enriches and enlivens your human experience.

I am grateful for you and how, in your own way, you are
dedicated to being more fearless.

I am awed by you who reach beyond what you know,
or who you think you are, to discover a person inside of you
capable of more than you ever imagined.

I am humbled by the graceful giving of who you are.

Happy Thanksgiving.

May today be the today you fall on your knees
in gratitude for all you have, for all you are
and all you have before you.

Loads of gratitude and love to you and yours,
Rhonda

This election, being fearless means you will:

1. Vote
I have spoken to many folks and some are hemming and hawing not sure who to vote for. The next words out of their mouth shock me: I will vote but not for the President. Or I hear: I just don't know who to vote for so I just won't vote.

WHAT!!!?!?!?!?!

Indecision is a natural part of the process but deciding not to decide IS deciding. If you don't vote, you are giving the rest of the nation the opportunity to choose your fate. I challenge you to figure out where else in your life you are allowing 'fate' to make your decisions for you. This is a passive way to live and not the fearless path.

2. Language
Become aware of the fearbased language the candidates use as well as their fearless words. What issues concern you? Pay attention to how the candidates are proposing to solve them. What is their process? Are they making suggestions based on the fear of the masses? Are they creating long lasting solutions? Listen, listen, listen. Do not let your Wheel of Fear listen for you.

3. Think about your great grandchildren
The challenges we face right now are ones that must be solved for the long-term. Short-term solutions are band-aids. Sometimes we need a band-aid but if we keep the band-aid on too long it gets crusty, infected and ineffective. A band-aid is not a solution. Just like a wound we must let it heal and that takes time and care.

Every election is critical for the creation of the United States of America. We are literally choosing how are nation will develop based on the candidates and their policies.

I urge us all to pay attention to how we listen, how we decide, how we vote.

We will have a new President. Decide to have your voice be heard. Vote.

I am feeling so much better. Whew!

I feel like I just completed a trip through a wind tunnel and I didn't know for sure what would be lost in the journey and what I could hang on to. I did lose some things, that is for sure. Some I willingly surrendered and others felt like they were ripped from my hands.

The journey over the past year is what I will be writing about in my fifth book. To build my writing skill (I hope, I hope) I just completed six classes at the University of Iowa Writing Workshops. I spent the entire month in Iowa City. Yes, the river was high and there was much evidence of the enormous devastation due to the flood.

Next, I am taking the month of August and writing, writing, writing. Starting in the fall I will be teaching again, working with private clients and I am going to be offering a twice-a-month teleclass called Coach the Coach to support coaches to become better, great, fantastic, the best-ever coaches.

It feels good to be back in the saddle. Thank you for waiting. :)

I am sitting here at my computer in the fourth bedroom of my youngest sisters home surround by the belongings I have traveled with since leaving Colorado in August of last year. I have been staying with friends and family. Something that I would never have done in the past. What a gift it has been to learn this lesson of receiving support and care.

Since my break up, I have had to face my inability to see emotional abuse as it is happening in an intimate relationships. I am excellent when I am in coaching mode, but put me next to a man I love and someone else shows up in my body. I accept what absolutely shouldn't be unacceptable. Heck, I don't even see it until I am going backwards in my own life feeling like the water is rising and I don't know how to swim. Yes, I do see it faster but not fast enough. I lost a lot of blood last year. Too much.

It has been humbling. It has been painful. It has taken ever ounce of courage to see that relationship with unveiled eyes. To uncover how the past plays out in the present. To be willing to keep loving myself the entire time through the shame, the embarrassment, the humiliation.

I have been resting. I have been recovering. I have been journeling, meditating, reading and crying. I have seen a medical doctor, an acupuncturist, an energy healer, a chiropractor and a trauma therapist. I have put everything on the chopping block. Every belief, every philosophy, every value.  I have been unraveling my life down to the thinnest string that has been keeping me alive. I have put my life on notice. Nothing is sacred. Nothing.

It has been incredible. It has been absolutely frightening. I have felt true terror for the first time in my life. More than once. Terror to be alive. Terror to die. Sheer terror being me. The responsibility. The desire. The passion. Everything.

Now, I am stretching my limbs out of the darkness and feeling the light on my skin that I couldn't recognize a few months ago. I've always known it was there...like a good friend the light never leaves me. But I, at times, must leave it. To go deep. To live in the darkness. To till the soil of my soul stirring more oxygen in the earth for new growth, new energy, new seeds to bud.

Seeds are sprouting. It seems that they are sprouting exactly as I would have anticipated but somehow different. I mean, I am working on writing my fifth book which I knew I would be doing. I am visioning and planning another television show which is a 'duh!'. So all the actions are unfolding as planned but instead of the sun casting a hue of yellow, it feels like a beacon of bright glaring white light is hitting everything I touch. Everything I see. I don't know how things are going to grow in this new light. Heck, I don't know if I should pull up some more weeds or just sit in the shade for a while.

I was told by a mentor of mine in December that this is my time to master how to manifest in being rather than doing. That's what it feels like. I have taken my hands off the wheel like I've done a thousand times before but this time, I haven't even gotten into the car. I am sitting on the porch sipping a peach ice tea and the postman is delivering the lastest news.

My only cost, the only requirement, to win the lottery of life is to be me. Period. Me. Pure Me. This is new territory.

Sure, I have been practicing self-loving acts towards myself. Nuturing myself more and caring deeply about my needs, wants and desires. At times, it feels so self-indulgant. Yet, what I have learned is to transcend self-indulgance I must claim my own being. Live in my own skin. Breathe my own breath. Be my own person.

I feel like the biggest cliche of all times.  "To Thine Own Self Be True," says William Shakespeare. He didn't say be true during work hours only or when you are with your family or at the grocery store or when it's easy. He said "to thine own self be true." Period.

Imagine taking that to the next level of your life? Imagine ever word you say or not say you must filter through: To Thine Own Self Be True. Envision every action you take must also pass through that filter. Sit down for a moment and just start to comprehend how radically your words might alter or your actions might change if your only filter, the only one you use, is: To Thine Own Self Be True.

Not the self that lives in fear...To Thine OWN Self Be True. OWN SELF. Own yourself. Own your skin. Own your thoughts. Own your feelings. Own your sensations. Own all of you. Own that you are you and no one else. No desire to be anyone else. You are you.

I feel completely inadequate to describe what I am experiencing. As I write I feel like a hacker on the golf course trying to get the ball in the hole but just wacking away Because for a long time I have been me. The me I could see. The me I could understand. The me I could move, motivate and inspire. I have been those me's absolutely wonderfully.

I liked being me. Heck, I loved being me. I just had to be willing, coming from a very different place, to love me unconditionally.

What's the funniest thing of all to me is I have no desire to go back to my old life. None. I have no desire to live the same way I did even when I know that I loved it. Key word: loved it. It doesn't seem big enough for me now. My life seems so small when I look back at the past five years.

Now, I know technically my life wasn't small. In truth, I was small. Too small. Too small for all of me. No more. I am taking all of me with me from now on. All my wonder, and passion and boundaries. And I am diving in....

I am making waves splashing and yelping and generally throwing myself off the deep end. That's where I belong because that is who I am. Who'd like to join me? The water is rough on the surface but cool and gentle and free floating once you get deep in the water. See, you must go deep to find a place to rest. But to go deep, you have to endure some rough water. Not by chance, by choice. Consciously, willingly and fully.

That's fearless living. This is my path. Will you join me?

You are worth every morsel of expansion. You are worth digging in the dirt for with your bare hands to find your soul inside the seeds planted deep in the earth. You are worth diving off the cliff just to see how it feels and hear the air whosh past your ears while your stomach is in your throat. You are worth falling in love with. You are absolutely worth it. And so am I.

I commit to happiness, to crazy silly joy and being true to myself 365 days a year. I was talking to a friend of mine last week and she was asking me what's next in my life. My answer: I have no idea but I am going to be happy.

Thank you for all your notes and phone calls asking if I am all right. I am touched and grateful for the connection we have. So now, where do I begin?

It seems redundant to tell you I haven't been myself lately. Wait. That's not quite true. I actually think I am becoming more myself.

I have a theory. My theory is when we get on the Fearless Path, we are compelled to become more of who we were always meant to be. Sometimes that isn't always easy to decipher. The direction we head isn't always forward. Sometimes the direction seems skewed, off base, or even careening off track. We feel lost, confused and backward. Sometimes thats how it feels: backward. (note: when I feel like I am going backward, I know, as long as I am present and choosing actions more in alignment with the truth of who I am, I am always going deeper.)

Now, when we are going all of these different directions - here's the theory part - I believe that what is really happening is our foundation is getting bigger, longer, wider, richer, deeper, more expansive. That means - again, theory part - that things can come up that used to be hidden (because we couldn't or didn't want to deal with it or tell ourselves the truth.) Because the bigger our foundation is, the more access we have to all those parts of ourselves that we have been hiding away, that were split off from us during the hard times in our life. Now that our foundation is bigger, we have more tools, skills and courage to handle what's coming our way. (Even though it doesn't feel like it at first. We are in new territory remember.)

Think of it this way...when our foundation gets bigger, we have the room, and space, to pick up the pieces of ourselves that we have left behind. That's the good news.

For instance, I will never forget the first time I was jealous. I have no memory of ever being jealous growing up but boy, oh boy, when I did feel it for the first time, it consumed me. I felt obsessed. I was about thirty-three years old. Not yet a coach and not yet knowing where I was going in my life.

Who was I jealous of? A friend of mine who I had been coaching (without the certificate) for seven years about every single aspect of her life. And I hate to say it, but she was no brain surgeon. I had to spell things out and be very specific over and over again. (Now, I see she was in my life to train me to listen and teach at a very profound level. Thank you friend!)

So here we were: Good friends. Me, the pseudo-teacher and she, the pseudo-student. And one day she comes to me and tells me she is going to start teaching workshops. I almost fell out of my chair. WHAT!? YOU??! TEACH!?!?

I was speechless. Overcome really. Within weeks, she had flyers up and was telling all her friends to attend her class.

I wanted to gag! Then it hit me, I was jealous and judgmental because she was doing what I wanted to do. I don't think it was workshops specifically but it was something to do with sharing, and giving, and connecting and my jealousy told me she didn't have the right to do it. I mean, I was the one who had been teaching her!!!

Jealousy kicked my butt and got me into action. But this is the point I am attempting to make: I would never have had the capacity to give myself the permission to feel jealous if I hadn't grown as a person. Jealousy was an absolute no-no in my youth so to actually allow those feelings of jealousy to come up without dying, well, that was just darn brave on my part.

See I had to be willing to feel jealous because what caused the jealousy was also causing the 'no' within me.  The reasons I told myself she couldn't do it were also keeping me from doing it. She didn't deserve to do it than neither could I. She wasn't smart enough than neither was I. And on and on it goes.

The sad part is most of us would call that experience going backwards or stupid or bad. The very feeling that is coming out and up to be healed we want to stuff back in as fast a possible and keep ignoring it and pretend we couldn't possibly feel that way. But as human beings we are capable of feeling all feelings. And as you have heard me say a million times by now, "The feeling you are afraid to feel is running your life," is true.

In the past fifteen months my platform, my foundation, my ground has expanded to all sides of me i.e. up over pluto, reaching past hong kong, over the arctic circle and down to the molten core. Now this is the tricky part: I might think right now that I am at the core, but opps, two year or fifteen months or one week from now, it might feel like I am doing deeper, wider, higher still. That's okay. That is the fun part of the Fearless Path.

And yes, I did say FUN!!!

Regardless of all the emotions I have barely lived through in the past fifteen months, I know I am just touching the surface of what is possible for me. I am reaching in to my soul and coaxing it out little by little. And it feels absolutely wonderful. And it takes a ton of my energy, hence, no blogs.

I feel different now. I will try to articulate it in the months ahead but it is still coalescing. I just don't want to scare it away until I have more of it in my cells.
Because understanding it is one thing, but getting it into your bones is completely something else. And I want this in my bones. Therefore, I must be gentle. I must be patient. I must love all of this. Pray for me.

What does Christmas mean to you? For some, it means presents and holly. To others, it represents Jesus. And still others, it means very little but perhaps a day off for the national holiday. Whatever it means to you, I invite you to use it to focus on the meaning of your own life.

As humans, we tell stories to give meaning to what we do and say because we are all searching for meaning. Underlying it all, we are all living by our values. And those values, give our life the meaning we hope to have or a meaning that we were hoping we'd never have to face. But there is meaning, nonetheless.

What meaning do you want your life to represent a day from now? A week or even a year? What do you want your name to mean when anyone hears it? What imagines do you want your behavior to conjure up in someone's mind and heart?

When we think about how we show up in the world to ourselves, to our loved ones, to strangers...I hope it gives us pause. Thinking about how we show up is a step in self-awareness, self-choice, self-love. It isn't meant to make us paranoid but it is meant to wake us up to the choices we make unconsciously.

Let's face it...all of us are unconscious sometimes. The more we come to terms with it, the more we can face our lives consciously, awake and aware. That isn't always easy but it must be on our path if we want to own our wholeness.

Now, we are already whole, complete, amazing human beings. But most of us don't use our wholeness to live our lives but only use parts of ourselves. The more we bring our whole self to the table of life the more we can partake of the pleasure, the joy, the peace that is available to us.

And owning our wholeness gets us in touch with the true meaning of who we are and our place in the world. I want meaning as much as the next guy. And I also realize my search for meaning can be a double edge sword. I can make up stories to give my life meaning that have nothing to do with the reality that is present. (I think that is  how most of us live.) Or I can look at the reality that is in front of me, and find the higher truth, the deeper meaning that can guide me on my spiritual path.

A few days ago I started writing my fifth book. It scares me and that is good. It means I am hitting the bones of my soul. That works for me and hopefully, it will work for you.

I am attempting to tell the deepest truth possible and allow the meaning hidden behind the story to shine.  Yes, I want my life to have meaning. But  I also know, secretly, that it already does just because I am alive. To benefit fully from that meaning means I must keep telling the truth, again and again and again. Until I hit rock bottom.

This holiday season I ask you to join me. Ponder the questions offered and before stepping into 2008 know that your life has meaning and plenty of it. Then start watching, carefully, it will show itself in the most unexpected places. And isn't that what life is about? Surprises! Ahhh, yes. Surprise me life. Surprise me!

May this holiday season be infused with the meaning of the holidays...sharing, caring and loving. May you see it everywhere you go. May you feel loved. May you feel worthy. May you feel the peace of the season.

I am sending love to you and yours....but mostly, to you! xoRhonda

Days ticking by until the New Year. Reflecting back on what was to get a glimpse of what might be.

I've always said how you enter one year is how you will enter the next. That holds true for relationships and jobs. The ending matters just as much as the beginning. The good news is is that the ending is always determined by you. What you do with how it ended, what you are left with and how you integrate it to make something fresh, new, life-enhancing.

It's no secret that I've had a particular tough year. Emotionally, I have been through the ringer. Physically, I feel drained. Spiritually, I have leaned on what I know, what I believe. And yet, there have been moments I have felt in crisis in all areas of my life.

This year has been one of learning to be more true to me than I ever dreamed. I didn't even know I was being less than what I could be. I had no idea that there were some cracks in my life. Everything appeared and felt, until this year, to be clear, focused and centered. I knew who I was, my purpose and my values. And I thought I was doing a heck of a job being me.

I think there are times in all of our lives when it feels like the wind gets kicked out of you but nothing truly dramatic has happened. You are going along in your life and wham! You are knocked down on the ground and can't seem to get a foothold on much of anything.

That is what this entire year felt like.

I have been reading a ton of books to give me reassurance and solace. Many talk about the feelings of being lost, nothing feels solid or real. I nod my head. I have read some of these books previously. Then, I thought I understood what they were talking about. Heck, I have had plenty of despair and suffering. But nothing like this.

This is what it has felt like...when I was in emotional pain before I didn't know what was happening to me. Now, I know. And my heightened awareness, in many ways, makes this better. Yet, in some ways, it makes it feel worse.

Each day I attempt to the best of my ability to allow what is moving through me to move. Each day I cry if tears show up, vent if need be and tell the truth. Always telling the truth.

What feels weird is I feel more dead and more alive at the same time. I know a part of me is dying. The part that is small and predictable and is run by hidden rules. I also know a part of me is blossoming. It feels strong and clean and powerful. I see more glimpses of that part of me becoming more awake.

I wonder what else has to die within me for me to awaken more fully? I wonder what part of you has to die for you to own more of your life? I wonder what you and I have to claim? Stand for? Let go of? Say no to? Say yes to? Own up to? in order for us to walk into 2008 clean?

In the days ahead, I ask you to reflect upon the changes you have made in 2007. What tools and skills are you taking in to the new year? What qualities of being are you expressing and owning and sharing that you can claim as yours for 2007?

To help you, I urge you to list 100 gratitudes and 100 acknowledgements for 2007. This will give you a foundation to lean on as you walk into 2008. I'm doing it. Please join me. Perhaps 2008 will be the year we all decide to truly live fearlessly!

Friends are only friends if they are willing to tell you the truth. Otherwise, they are just mere acquaintances.

It saddens and frustrates me when friends don't tell friends the truth. I mean, when someone complains about the same thing over and over again (or the same person over and over again i.e. if they can't forgive someone or see their innocence), perhaps someone should tell them...HEY BUD, IT's YOU!

I remember a friend of mine crying to me one night about how he is so trusting with people but they always let him down. I told my friend right then and there that it wasn't about trusting people, it was about his discernment. He called it trust so he could blame them if the relationship didn't go his way. He was not taking responsibility for his part in it. That's the truth for so many of us.

Now, just to be clear...you must be a good friend, a friend that has the ability to listen beyond the story being told i.e. does not put loyalty above the truth.

A good friend doesn't believe there is only one version to any story... there is always two. A good friend may say things like, "Man that sucks" but they also follow that up with ... "and what was your part in it?" Maybe not in that same moment but in a moment that follows...the moment of true friendship.

What I have come to realize is, sadly, some people don't want the truth. They don't want truth friends. They don't want to be called out or called on to change themselves or their version of the story. Heck, they are so busy weaving a story they probably don't know what the truth is anymore.

Telling a story is the way we give our life meaning. So I understand the seduction of it. Yet inside the story we are either taking responsibility or blaming. What is your intention when you tell a story? Do you want people to 'side' with you? Do you want to find the lessons in the story? Do you want to search for the truth for each person in the story?

How do you know if the people in your life are true friends? Who will call you on the stories you tell that are just plain stories?

Ask yourself:
Are you able to hear feedback without getting defensive?
And if you do get defensive, can you admit it?
Do you ask your friends "is it me?"
Are you willing to hear the answer?

You might have people in your life that you feel are true friends, but true friends will never agree with you one hundred percent of the time. They can't. Sometimes you are just wrong and they are the ones that you can trust to tell you.

So do you have true friends?

Do you give your friends the space to question you, i.e. go deeper or see the other persons point of view? Are you committed to the truth more than being right?

If you want to be right, forget it. Your friends can't help you and your friends have learned a long time ago that you don't want their help. They KNOW you want to be right and personally, a commitment to being right is so small-minded.

As A Course in Miracles says: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

Sure, being right feels good. No one can argue that. But personally, I want to be happy. And sometimes it is my friends that help me get there.

Thank you for your countless supportive and loving emails. I am overjoyed each time you embrace me for my humanity. What a gift that is to me. And thank you for the emails that are telling me to 'get over Mr. Love-A-Lot already.' Well, it isn't so simple...

Let me explain...

Am I being fearless right now?
You betcha. Probably the last 9 months have tested my fearlessness in ways I thought I wouldn't have to experience again. What's happening now is old stuff I thought was over, done, healed. I haven't felt this way since I was 25 years old.

How am I being fearless?
I am facing my father at a level I never knew existed. It feels like the skin is being ripped off of me and new skin is being born. Sorry for the graphic example but I wanted you to know how it feels at times. :) And for those of you who have experienced the great awakening, you know exactly what I mean.

To clarify:
Everything I am going through due to the break-up with Mr. Love-A-Lot isn't about Mr. Love-A-Lot. Obviously, I can get over Mr. Love-A-Lot. I mean, I am the one who walked out the door. And I did so graciously, lovingly and empoweringly to myself and to him. This is no longer about him. He has just been the catalyst to wake me up to more. That's the humorous and humbling part. For all the work I have done, all the heights I have scaled, all the rivers I have cried...this is where the rubber hits the road. This is the moment where true fearlessness lies.

So now what? 
Just like any experience in my life, when Mr. Love-A-Lot and I broke-up I immediately began to look for the deeper healing, the deeper meaning, the deeper possibility. The choice was not stuffing, not hiding, not minimizing. Because I knew, if I was open to experience everything and anything, I would experience exactly what I need. And what I need is to heal a legacy that has been handed down through generations that until now, was just a shadow, barely there.

What would not be fearless?
Just forgetting all about it and saying to myself, "You are amazing so forget the shmuck." Yes, I know I could do that quite easily. But, like I said, this isn't about the shmuck. (teehee!) Because forgetting all about it would include forgetting all the growth that comes with it. All the opportunities for transformation at the core.

This is my journey. You don't have to like it, agree with it or believe in it. I share it because I made a commitment to you long ago that you would always hear the truth from me. Not the pretty truth but the hardcore in-your-face truth. I tell you because I believe we are the same and perhaps if I share what I am going through you will have a little more courage to go there too.

Growth is amazing. It never looks like we think it will...it comes on its own terms, in its own way, on its own time.  My choice, then, is to do it fearlessly. And so I do. The best way I know how.